Betrayal in a relationship causes a lot of pain, hurt and confusion. It is emotionally upsetting and draining. Some couples never recover from the loss of trust and it ultimately leads to the breakdown of their relationship.
Some stay in there and work through it over a long period of time with the help of a professional counselor. To rebuild the trust that's been destroyed in a relationship after an affair, a strong commitment to the relationship is needed from both you and your partner.
Two important things to remember when working through an affair:
1. Trust is only regained over Time and with a continued good Track Record. Do not expect the rift that has become present in the relationship to be healed quickly.
2. One of you will want to talk REPEATEDLY about the details, feelings and events of the affair, trying to understand how it could have happened and if it could have been prevented…the other will want to quit talking about it and avoid guilt and pain. Compromise in this area is usually low level---the consequences to the behaviors from being involved in the affair include being open to the questions of your partner.
Pamela's TIP: * Try to avoid getting all the physical details and focusing on what can only be the most painful descriptions that really may not be needed for you in order to help.
You & your partner may want to consider counseling to discuss your feelings & examine
your choices and motives within your situation. Understanding of each other's needs within your relationship can
strengthen your ability to make intelligent choices and achieve goals you desire.
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